The Other Side of Somewhere

Only Human

52 Weeks...Week 8
Originally uploaded by JocelynneB

I need this reminder today (see photo).

I'm under a deadline, and while I know I will meet the deadline timewise, I'm feeling lots of pressure and doubting my abilities to do good work.

In the last few years, I've ventured out more publicly with my creative work than ever before. There are so many things to consider when taking your work public; the expectations of editors who want to publish your work, and the whims and fancies of the art buying public, for example. So many things I never thought about before taking the leap. So many things I'm still learning.

Occasional discouragement comes with the territory, I know. Falling down, going **splat**, and failing are painful, but instructive. Knowing that each experience has something to teach me, keeps me going.

And so does this thought from poet Nikki Giovanni:

“I really don't think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don't mind the failure but I can't imagine that I'd forgive myself if I didn't try.”

And so, despite the discouraging feelings and worries I have about this particular experience I'm in the midst of, I'll keep on keeping on with it. I'd rather fall flat on my face than sit on the sidelines and wonder what might have been.

Day Three: NaBloPoMo

Happy Halloweenie!

This is what happens ...

... when you send your spouse to pick up some candy for trick-or-treaters.  "Some candy" in Mr. P-speak = SIX JUMBO BAGS!  The kiddies in our neighborhood are getting HUGE handfuls of candy tonight. 

I found this photo from way back when (1978 to be exact).  I'm the gypsy ...

Happy Halloweenie!

Finishing that thought ...

I've been thinking about my last post for the last couple of days. 

I closed that post with the thought that you never know where life is going to lead you.

Well.  Let me add a bit more to that, finish the thought.

The meme my friend sent me is indeed an exercise in the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.  I believe she calls it something like Secret Selves.  The magic of the exercise is not that - using my self as an example here - abc's Dancing with the Stars is going to call me with an invite to dance on the show (I'm pretty sure I don't need Lisa Williams to tell me this is NOT going to happen).  The magic of the exercise is uncovering aspects of yourself that want to be expressed or explored in some fashion.

So, again using my examples, maybe I'm not destined to be a blues singer or a ballroom dancer, but I can certainly take singing and guitar lessons at the local music store (we have one just up the street), and they have ballroom dance classes at the Y.   It's all about degrees.  As I am mostly an "all or nothing" kind of person, this exercise reminded me that I can do or be anything I dream of in some measure. 

The exercise is also helpful as a correction.  I mentioned farming or running an orchard as something I would like to do.  Hee hee ... well, maybe not.  I am not much for even keeping a small garden.  My normal response to gardening is: "I have to weed?  But it's so hot out!" Peregrine Orchards is not likely part of my future!  However, when I drill down and think about why I am attracted to farming I come away with wanting to eat fresh food grown locally (which I can do via a farmers market) and being in sync with the seasons (there are many ways I can accomplish this).  Maybe I can aspire to have a lovely garden some day.  For now, though, I can make tending a nice small potted plant my goal.  A very very small plant.

This exercise is a really powerful one.  Even doing the exercise in the context of a lighthearted meme got me thinking about things in a new way, shook me a up a little bit (I need that from time to time).  Julia Cameron can and has explained all of this more eloquently in her Artist's Way series of books, which I highly recommend.

* * *

I'm still in major creating/producing mode.  So many deadlines converging all at one time.  I haven't been in this place in a very long time. (And I apologize if I keep repeating myself).  Despite the fact that I'm very tired, my creativity is soaring and one project inspires another and another and another ... I wish I had more time to get it all done.  Thankfully, all of these projects will keep until after the deadlines, and Handmade Parade, and Mr. P.'s departure (six weeks now).  It will be nice to have something waiting for me to sink my teeth into when this tornado of activity has passed.

Dreams

My friends Miz Carla and Paula tagged me to play this meme:

The rule of this meme is to name five things I would like to be when I grow up – five things that I’ve always dreamed about.

1. Blues singer. Yep, I'd love to sit in a smoky room with a guitar and sing the blues in a raspy voice (nevermind that I don't actually HAVE a raspy voice - hey, I'm dreamin' here!).  Really, I'd just like to be Susan Tedeschi. 

2. Stand-up Comedienne.  There is something about telling stories, acting out the various parts, and making people laugh that I really love.  Like sharing the poetry I write, however, this is one of those activities I would be absolutely terrified to try even if the opportunity presented itself.  I don't think I could handle having a joke bomb and hearing ... crickets ... silence.  Hecklers would probably make me cry.  Sadly, I think my career in stand-up is limited to family (they always think I'm funny).

3. Dancing with the Stars contestant. Seriously, I want to become a TV star just so I can slide from the spotlight, get on the "B" list and become a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.  I want to wear a glittery dress and dance the jive with Maksim Chmerkovskiy. (And I'd like to drop a few pounds in the process). That's not too much to ask, is it?

4. Baker. I've referenced this before. 

5. Farmer. My commute takes me off the beaten path and through the farm country of Southeastern Virginia.  I get such a thrill (it doesn't take much) out of watching the seasons unfold through the activities in the fields.  Presently, it's cotton harvesting time and I am enamored with all of the super-sized machinery used to pick the cotton and spit it out in big white bricks ready for the cotton gin ... I love seeing wisps of cotton in the trees and on the side of the road.  I don't see myself as that kind of farmer, but I love the idea of owning an orchard.  I'm not afraid of hard physical work as long as I find it meaningful, and tending and harvesting lovely, fresh fruit for people and working in conjunction with the seasons has meaning for me.

It's funny reading back over this list and comparing it to others I have written over the years (a similar one can be found in Julia Cameron's Artist Way series).  Many of the things I've listed in past iterations of this have actually come to pass! 

You never know where life is going to lead you.

I tag whomever would like to share. (Remember to leave a link in the comments section here, so we can see your responses).

Insert Clever Title Here

With several deadlines for creative commitments converging at the end of October/beginning of November, this is what my life will look like for the next several weeks ... lots of paper, fabric, and glue (and Mr. Cat to keep me company and a box of Kleenex for the sneezes; sneezes completely unrelated to Mr. Cat).  Despite autumn allergies and the occasional sniffles related to Mr. P's inevitable departure, the creative work is fun and high energy ... I haven't worked this way in a very long time ... I've missed that.

I took a break for my birthday, as Mr. P. took me to Colonial Williamsburg for a couple of days of strolling about the 18th century city on the brink of revolution, and partaking in all kinds of interesting activities, including participating in a jury deciding the fate of a woman suspected of witchcraft, watching the fife and drum parade, and eating sippets and cheese at Chowning's Tavern (and completely enjoying the balladeers, magicians, during the evening gambols).  We had the best time!  I am a total Colonial Williamsburg geek and have been since I was a little kid.  Who knew I'd end up living within 50 miles of it as an adult?   

I must give a shout out to the Woman From Houston who shared our table at Chowning's Tavern.  When she found out it was my birthday and asked about my age, she was surprised to find out I was 36 and not 26 or 27 as she had guessed.  I was highly amused (and delighted) by her reaction!  I don't know whether to credit the candlelit tavern, Olay products, white lies, or the beer she was drinking!  Whatever the reason, Woman From Houston, I thank you for a highly encouraging confidence boost!

One of the new things I discovered on our first night in Williamsburg, was a delightful little dessert drink thing called Syllabub.  Thursday was hotter than Hades and as most of the historic buildings are not air conditioned, whew, it was a sweaty and sweltering day.  It was so nice to end dinner with this refreshing dessert.  Syllabub consists of whipped cream, sugar, dry white wine and sherry, and lemon.  The dessert is prepared and then refrigerated for 24 hours during which time the cream and the wine separate slightly.  You eat the whipped cream part and then sip the remaining wine which has been sweetened with the cream.  They say this dessert went out of favor after the arrival of ice cream, but I far prefer this ... it's lighter and more refreshing.  Can't wait to try it at home!

And that's all she wrote for now.  Bloggling will likely be light for a few weeks as I work to meet deadlines.  Looking forward to getting back in the blogging saddle once all of that is finished. 

♥

Marking Time

Lapsana apogonoides
Originally uploaded by jam343.

Ah well. Things have not turned out the way we might have hoped, relating to Mr. P's job.

He will not depart for a few months, which is good. He will be gone for an unfathomable amount of time, which is not.

Waiting for word and thinking about what might be coming, I thought about how I would mark the time while he is gone. In the past, I marked the time with x's on a calendar. This time, I've been thinking about marking the time in a more creative fashion.

Although we don't have children, I remember reading somewhere once about a good activity for the children of deployed military. The activity involved making a loop out of colored paper each day, stringing the loops together (making a chain) and when the deployed person returned home, decorating the house with the strands of colored loops. Clever idea for the kiddies, but it does not suit my purposes.

It seems important to mark different increments of time. So, I need daily, weekly, monthly, and maybe even (ack!) quarterly activities. I'm tossing around the idea of making a quilt square each day or week ... measured in either increment, by the end of the deployment that would make a pretty big quilt.

I have some other ideas and hope to have some kind of activity that involves friends (maybe a RR or a swap or ... something). Maybe you have a suggestion for me?

I'll work it all out, eventually. Right now I'm just trying to recover from the shock and make the most of the time we have now.

Saturday

Today's Agenda:

It is good to have friends.  Especially friends who lend you their Kewpie doll so you can take silly photos with your Blythe doll:

Enjoying today:

• Vanilla soymilk in a frosted glass.
• Cool, crisp (and sweet!) grapes from California by way of Trader Joe's.
• A little bit o'exercise.
• Mr. P is home (well, he's actually fishing, but he's here geographically speaking).
• The promise of a creative day well spent.

Happy Saturday!

Blue and Orange Kind of Day

Blue Orange Box w/Handle
Originally uploaded by Jeannine P..

Today has been a mixed bag.

First, the splendid and delightful ...

I received a box from my partner in the Blue/Orange swap I hosted through swap-bot. Melissa sent this **gorgeous** little box filled with treasures and papers and lovely handmade items! It was truly a sight to behold and brought many giggles and smiles. It was really difficult to stop and take photos of everything. :)

If you weren't able to join in our color swap this go around, I hope you'll join us for a future swap. This is such an inspiring and fun activity on both the giving and receiving ends of things.

We still do not know anything solid about Mr. P.'s work situation. Mr. P, you may or may not know, is a Marine and this job change came out of nowhere. Blindsided might describe what is happening, but only just. We are readying for the worst, but hoping for the best. The worst case scenario involves a very long separation (so long, I can't bear to write it out). He won't necessarily go to a scary place, but he might. Either way, he won't be here and he will be very far away from home.

There is still much that is unresolved and so there is hope. "When nothing is sure, anything is possible", says author Margaret Drabble. This is a comforting thought.

Emily Dickinson wrote about "hope being that thing with feathers"; I had no idea it weighed so much or could pierce so sharply.

It's a weird time, for sure.

(Journal page)

Lucky Penny and New Paint

I found this penny in the parking lot at Lowe's yesterday.  It's a new penny, shiny and brilliantly copper.

I'm in need of luck.  Or maybe grace.  (Definitely grace).

Late last week we received distressing news about my husband's job.  It all happened very quickly, with absolutely ZERO warning.  The worst thing about it is, five days later, we still have no specifics.  We don't know WHAT is going to happen, only that SOMETHING is going to happen.  I don't do well with vague information.  I can face things when I know what it is I'm facing; without specifics, however, a vacuum forms which my imagination and anxious nature is only to happy to fill with all kinds of worse-case scenarios and other assorted unpleasantness. 

I hope we have solid information soon. 

In the meantime, in an effort not to completely lose my mind waiting and playing out one horrible scenario after another, and in order to feel some measure of control over something (anything!), I cleaned out the refrigerator and then I decided to redo my craft space.  I've wanted to make changes for awhile now but, well, my decorating mindset could be described as I Want to Be Martha Stewart But I'm Too Lazy.  I love beautifully decorated spaces (more especially, beautifully organized spaces) but I am intimidated by the labor (and sometimes cash) needed to create such a space.  Also, I change my mind a lot and it's hard to keep up with my constantly changing color crushes. 

And, frankly, I'd rather be making art than creating a space for making art.  Taken to an extreme, working on creating the perfect space becomes another avoidance technique, a distraction from doing the work.  This isn't the case for everyone, but I've witnessed it and I don't want to go there.  I'd rather have a crappy space and be working, than have a beautiful but empty space where no art gets made.  A space that is too perfect would make me nervous ... all that expectation! 

What I'd **really** love is a huge loft warehouse space with brick walls and huge windows with a concrete floor.  THAT is my ideal space!  As I live in the 'burbs, that kind of space is unlikely anytime soon.

With all of that said, Mr. P and I spent all of yesterday painting the room.  I chose a color called Mystic Sea which reminds me of Key West.  Every time I walk in there I feel calm and happy.  I LOVE it!  We painted the trim white and Mr. P kindly hung shelves and a huge bulletin board.  I still need to arrange a few things and hang pictures, but really, the color alone has made a huge difference.  I can't wait to sit in there today!

Photos will follow eventually.

Now, on with the day.  Hopefully we'll know something soonly.

Sunday So Far

Suffolk Canoe Trail
Originally uploaded by Jeannine P..

My husband took me for my first ride in his boat this morning. We set out around 8:00, making a quick drive to the boat launch at the park up the road (within a mile of our house). The weather was just as I like it ... sunny but not hot, with a soothing breeze. With the exception of a few men fishing from the dock, we had the creek to ourselves.

It did occur to me to hum the theme to Gilligan's Island as we left the dock. Hee hee.

This is the view as we began our little journey towards the Nansemond River:


Say hello to the skipper:


Our favorite seafood joint. It was fun to see it from the water, instead of looking at the water from inside. I love the idea of motoring over to the marina, docking, and having dinner sometime.


I find the weathered old boat houses to be mysterious and charming:

Needless to say, it wasn't a three hour tour, rather, just under an hour. We saw many blue heron and egrets and fish jumping out of the water... all in all a lovely and peaceful way to spend an hour on a Sunday morning.

Later, back home, I finished up a batch of embroidered cupcake artist trading cards (atcs) ...