The Other Side of Somewhere

Aspirations and Intentions

I like the hard break between December 31st of one year and January 1st of a new year.  I know it's just another day on the calendar, and I'm a firm believer in making a shiny new start for yourself anytime you feel like it, but there is something about the New Year holiday that encourages reflection and dreaming.

I don't do resolutions anymore.  I like the kinder, gentler "aspirations" and "intentions".  This is more than mere semantics; both words leave space for mystery and the unexpected, both applaud the effort, and they are more forgiving of inevitable slips and setbacks, making it easier to recover and get back on the intended path.  Slip on a "resolution" and it will smack you upside the head, make you feel bad and convince you to throw up your hands in defeat. 

Thus, aspirations and intentions for me!

In Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert writes about how people and places have a word, one word that sums up their essence (in the book, for example, the word for Rome is "Sex", the Vatican "Power", and New York City "Achieve". Ms. Gilbert comes to discover her personal word is "antevasin", Sanskrit for “one who lives at the border.”).  The idea of slapping one word on the whole of my life at this particular moment makes me want to break out in hives, but I have no problem applying the word Authenticity to my upcoming year. 

I want to be more deliberate in my thinking about what makes me tick in every area of my life, from the clothing I wear to the art I make and everything in between.  I want to look at the choices I make, on big matters and small, and figure out if my choices are authentic and true and not simply based on outside influence or ingrained habit.

As I spend the year practicing Authenticity, I'm also focusing my intentions in these ways:

Exercise.  It's less about looking good and more about feeling stronger and paying attention to my body instead of taking it for granted.

Consume less, waste less, use what I have on hand in all areas from my art studio space to my pantry.  This is not a political point for me, just a personal one.  I realized this year just how much time I spend managing my stuff and I was not pleased about it.  The less I bring into the house, the less I have to manage and shuffle.  I want to consider purchases carefully - what do I truly need to be happy, to live?  I'm already discovering that I need a lot less than I think I do. 

Keep track of what I read.  I inhale reading material.  I read so much I don't always remember what I've read or what authors I enjoyed, so I'd like to keep a list for reference and to help inform future reading choices.

Brainstorm ideas for Mr. P.'s retirement party!

Enter one of the juried shows at the Suffolk Museum.

Write more.  (I sometimes think that my artwork is a cover for what I really want to do which is write.  Eeep ... did I just say that out loud?  Yes.  Yes, I did).

Take risks.  My risks are not of the "dive-off-towering-cliffs-in-Acapulco" variety; they more involve matters of confidence and - say it with me - authenticity.

Happy New Year, everyone!  May it be a good one for all!

Creative Courage

I admit.  I'm ridiculously fascinated by the storm surrounding the release of Kelly Clarkson's new album, My December.  While I enjoy Kelly's music (the girl can sing) I'm not necessarily a fan (I haven't been a fan of any celebrity since I was 16).  I am, however, interested in the story behind her latest album release and how her experience can apply to anyone striving to live an authentic life.

If you haven't been following along, Kelly Clarkson was the very first American Idol.  Five years later, she is a bona-fide pop superstar and Grammy Award winning recording artist in her own right. 

My December is Kelly's third album and a departure from her first two albums which were decidedly "pop".  This new album is more reflective, more personal, and darker in subject matter.  It also has more of a rock vibe ... Kelly seems to be channeling Pat Benatar (especially on "Never Again") and does so admirably. This new direction apparently did not sit well with the muckety-mucks at her label, including the supreme Clive Davis.  Apparently, everyone is worried that this darker (angrier) Kelly isn't going to sell as many units as her previous two albums.  Kelly dug-in and stood her ground, and with some delay, My December is available today.

(Great album cover, isn't it?)

I've been following the swirl around this album for the last few weeks. I admire Kelly's pluck and insistence on creating and releasing an album that is meaningful for her. An album that is different from what is expected of her. An album with songs she wrote herself. An album that doesn't just take the easy way by following a Proven Marketing Formula.  This album is an authentic snapshot of Kelly Clarkson.  Maybe it won't sell as many "units" as previous albums, or maybe her courage to break the mold and her insistence to release THIS album, will be rewarded.  I hope so. 

It amuses me that her label is so worried about Kelly baring a little soul.  Music is a powerful form of expression and while I understand that ponytailed 'tweens may have a difficult time understanding the darker, edgier Kelly, there are other "demographics" who will surely identify with her.  We ALL have bad days, some really really really dark days, and horrible, bitter breakups.  We all feel hopeless sometimes. Seems to me it's better to talk about that, instead of whitewashing over it and pretending Everything is Ok. 

Creativity becomes watered down and homogenized, when we refuse to let go of perfection.  Perfection in technique or, (as in Kelly's case), content. 

The biggest thing I take away from this (besides a new album to listen to) is the truth that you can't fake it, in any area of your life. As it relates to art specificially, if you are going through something dark and messy and that is what is coming out in your art, you can't try to stuff that down and make pretty things instead (or vice versa).  People will know you are faking it.  You may as well be true to yourself and your reality. 

"Better to write [or sing or dance or paint] for yourself and have no public, than to write [or sing or dance or paint] for the public and have no self." (Cyril Connolly)

Amen to that.